30

The clock currently reads 11:48pm. In approximately 12 minutes I will no longer be in my 20s. Until the last few days I really thought I was going to be able to approach 30 with an equinimity that would make my mother proud. I figured I'd approach it with grace and humor, after all, I have felt 30 for about 6 years. As the minutes tick away, however, I feel anxious. It's that feeling you get when you just know you were supposed to do something but you can't remember what. So maybe instead of watch the clock, I'll countdown the things I haven't forgotten to do in my 20s

• Graduate from college-check. Though at this point I barely remember what I majored in. I was not a prolific partier, but neither was I an invested student. I went, I did, I left. I have a great degree. I should really pay my parents back with interest for my lack of school pride.
• Turn 21-though it is not necessary in this country to obtain or overindulge in alcohol, turning the legal drinking age is a rite of passage. I passed this rite by entering a club at midnight (they didn't even bother carding me) and then promptly leaving and going to bed as I had to work the next day. I am wild.
• Got engaged. Now THIS was a wonderful moment. I'd known since the first kiss that John King would be my last first kiss. This moment just made it official.
• Got Married. Best.Day.Ever. Ask anyone who was there--God blessed us that day with sunshine, a cool breeze, and hallelujah chorus of congratulations.
• Got my first job. One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't put more into this position. It was a great opportunity and I gave up too quickly.
• Bought our first house. We wanted a fixer-upper..we got it...and only a day before the test to prove...
• I got pregnant. The scariest, most exciting, jaw-dropping, shut the front door moment I have ever had (3 times). The feeling of my first little life growing inside me was completely humbling.

I'd like to take a moment and mention I'm only up to age 22 by this point...

• Wilson. I know every mom thinks her babies are beautiful, and most are-- in a very alien-looking way. Wilson, however, was truly beautiful. 6 years later, he is still one of the most gorgeous children I have ever clapped eyes on.
• Got a couple of other jobs. Tried a few things on for size. Nothing really fit until I discovered I was rather good at talking. Then I found out you can make a living at it.
• Grant. 18 months after holding Wilson for the first time, I went for an encore. Grant has refused to be second in anything ever since.
• Depression. I spent nearly three years battling severe depression and anxiety. Looking back it was akin to what people describe after experiencing a mid-life crisis. I was 27. Either I'm highly advanced or intentionally trying to shorten my life span. It was a gruling experience, but not one I would trade. I'm stronger for knowing where I'm weak.
• Susanna Jane. Talk about a finale. Can't top it, won't try.

So there it is, a decade of my life in bullet points. There are a million moments between the lines that add up to 10 years of incredible joy, considerable pain, and just about every emotion in between. I've had a busy decade full of growth, full of life, and full of family. I don't think I forgot a thing worth doing. I don't know what my 30s will hold (aside from hopefully 10 full years), but I'm looking forward to the journey.

It's 12:22 on August 3rd, 2012, and I'm all smiles.